On the way to work, stuck in traffic, radio on...and suddenly you’re in the middle of a moral-relationship-dilemma-discussion. Then Samuel Medas’ Afrobeats get the whole car grooving - only to realize it’s actually a church service announcement. Oh, and street vendors? Turns out they’re the ultimate traffic jam weather forecast.

Disclaimer: Don’t take this article too seriously -  it’s all in good fun!

Picture this: It’s Monday morning. You’ve just buckled up, pulled out of the driveway, and you’re heading to work. And then—bam!—you’re faced with the toughest decision of the week: is it acceptable to host a wedding that costs far less than the value of the guests’ monetary gifts?

That’s the kind of moral dilemma you get on The Brain Game over at Capital FM. The hosts happily pour gasoline on the fire to heat up the drama, then invite listeners to call in and have their say. As usual, the scenarios revolve around relationships. This week’s gem: What would you do if your boyfriend had kept his child from a previous marriage a secret—and now suddenly that child is moving into your household?

Outraged callers demand an immediate breakup. The more moderate voices get through too: “She should show some understanding,” they suggest. How do you position yourself? 

Then, it’s time for the ads. And even those are a trip. In one spot, the phone rings: “What can I do, I lied?” “What can I do, I stole something?” “What can I do, I cheated?” The solution? This Saturday at 3 p.m., you can seek forgiveness—at Pastor Wilke’s, Lugogo Festival Plaza. Tickets now available.

With the next song, the whole car turns into a full-on dance party blasting these dancy Afrobeats by Samuel Medas—only to realize halfway through that you’ve just been rocked by a church anthem announcing service hours for the week!  Believe me, this song is so catchy, listen once and you’ll be humming it non-stop. You have to listen, the video is here!

Tell your neighbor (move)  

If it don't look like Jesus (move)  

If it don't smell like freedom (move)  

If it didn't drop from Heaven (move)  

Choreographed by the Spirit (move)  

If it don't match up with the Word (move)  

Only You can fix what we cannot fix  

In the Church and in politics  

Consecration we will not mix  

Jesus on You our eyes are fixed  

It's to see Your Kingdom come, Lord Lord Lord 

Johanna and I have our own car game: who can spot the highest number of people on a single motorcycle? The current record stands at five. Five! On one bike! Though frankly, the driver who once transported an 85-inch LG plasma TV on his boda boda also deserves an award. In the video above you see four AK-47 being transported on a random morning.

Over on Galaxy FM, laughter is welcome. Their comedy shows in English and Luganda help fill the gaps between modern dance hits. And here’s how you can tell how long the traffic jam will last: by what the wandering street vendors are selling. Bananas and mangoes? You’ll be out in about five minutes. Laundry baskets, windshield wipers, leather sandals? More like fifteen. But if a vendor starts showing you a plot of land for sale while your car idles in exactly the same spot—just give up, you’re in it for the long haul.

And then there’s Radio City and KFM—sometimes slipping in a little government criticism. “How would you feel,” the host asks, “if you saved all year for a vacation, paid for it, and then the trip was canceled?” A pause, then the clarification: “Of course, this example is not about a vacation—it’s about public funds.” And with that, the thinking is left to the listener. Only indirect hints.

Then music: 

“Looking for love in all the wrong places…” sind Joshua Baraka.

Of course its about love again. Joshua Baraka born 2000 in Kampala is a fast-rising Ugandan singer-songwriter blending Afrobeat, R&B and dancehall. he’s crafting the soundtrack for East Africa’s next wave, all while keeping his feet firmly rooted in the Kampala streets. Internationally famous, with his next shows in Denmark, Berlin and London. Listen to his song in the video above.

"I’ll pass you the lighter, even if it breaks my heart.”

Back to Capital FM. People are still discussing the marriage question. Argh, I dont want to miss the ultimative solution, but office is waiting. I need to leave my (in the meanwhile) parked car.